The day when my nightmare became reality (gedicht)
- Raintje
-
15 2341 20/01/2022
As your bithday comes closer
So does the memory of when you were three days old
The day when my nightmare became reality
You had to nightfeed
I thought you were too tired to eat
Daddy thought you weren't
So he tried, to see if he'll succeed
I hadn't slept in days
So I closed my eyes
And woke up, some time later
To your horrific cries
Daddy sat in the dark
Acting panicked, strange
I tried to talk to him
But he was out of range
I remember saying
'You are acting like he fell'
Daddy started crying
And I started to yell
Screaming at daddy
to turn on the light
Only to see what we wished had never happend
What he was trying to hide
Your little face was swolen, covered in blood
You were crying so loud
I cried with you
While my heart sank to the ground
It took me a while to come to action
I was numbed by fear and pain
With trembling fingers I dialed 911
And somehow found the strength for myself to restrain
Help came, and we were allowed to drive you to the ER
We had to tell our story again and again
While I still had some questions
How? Why? When?
How could this have happend?
Why didn't daddy wake me as soon as he found you on the ground?
When did it happen?
Were you unconscious, before you were found?
How could I have fallen asleep?
How could daddy, while he was holding you?
How the hell could this have happend?
Are we gonna loose you to?
Please be ok
I love you so much
As a mantra, I hear myself say
Please be ok, please be ok
So as the day comes closer
To where it has almost been a year
I feel the terror and pain
And the numbness caused by fear
I hold you close
And I hear meself say
I love you so much
You are ok, you are OK
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